Yesterday evening we had a visit from Bhupinder the builder and Garbinder the architect. Bhupinder said ‘Call me Bhup or Bhupi’ but I didn’t and don’t feel I could. It just doesn’t feel like something one grown man could call another one. On walking into the house he said how luxurious it seemed. “Just wait, there’s more to come. Prepare yourself” I warned. “Well, unless you’ve got mirrors on the ceiling and a sex swing I’m sure I’ve seen it all before”. These Derren Brown-like powers are wasted in the building industry. When he saw the mirrored ceiling he forgot all about the sex swing request. He was a lovely man and his colleague was very knowledgeable which brought some bad news. We began outside looking at the garage and the possibilities of knocking it down and extending upwards. Apparently we won’t be able to reproduce the architecture of any of our neighbours since the planning laws have changed and now you have to step in a metre from the neighbouring property and back from the front of your own property. Why didn’t Roland mention this? So, the extension will look like a tier on a wedding cake. More importantly, the extension will be 12 metres long and 1.5 metres wide. That’s not an extension it’s a corridor. Garbinder said he’d come up with some ideas although Marianna has probably beaten him to it. He laughed at her suggestion that we needed triple glazing at the front of the house. They only have that at airports apparently. They measured and made sketches and then asked what type of this or colour of that we might want which is several steps ahead of where we are, well where I am. I just knew I didn’t want the porn, carpet and mirrors anymore. Clearly I was the only one who hadn’t given it any thought. Marianna began to outline her plans and both men caught a glimpse of a future in which they can afford to put their kids into private schools, take extended foreign holidays and maybe retire early. The only disconcerting thing was how many tasks Bhupinder would be tackling himself; electrics, plumbing, carpentry and project managing. He reassured us though that he is the figurehead of a larger workforce. He said reassuring things about timescales and the feasibility of continuing to live in the house while work is ongoing. We’re living in it while it falls apart so the reverse must be possible. I was pleased that just before they left both said they would happily buy the house. It’s nice that it can be seen as a good property, good home and good investment and not just a thing of amusement because of the décor.
I’m really tiring of the mirrors. I feel sufficiently aware of the aging process without having to witness every second of it as I walk from one room to another or just across a room and see myself reflected from every angle many times over. There is one above the desk where I work. Every time I lift my head there I am. I count the grey hairs, notice the numerous lines, think that i should moisturise and then practice smiling without using any facial muscles. I hadn’t previously realised how tired my chin was feeling and how it had invited a second chin along to help support my face. We also have a six foot tall mirror next to the toilet. There are some things I’ve never wished to watch myself doing. Weeks ago I became aware, when sitting, how my chin, chest, stomach and knees all seem to roll into each other. So, at least when using that seat my posture has now improved greatly.
This morning I discovered that on Sunday one of the visiting children used the broken toilet. How do you get ‘water’ out a toilet that won’t flush? I hope it isn’t the same method used for getting petrol of a car’s tank.
